Ramadan, Day 10

[un-proofread ramblings. apologies]

One of the things I love/hate about Islam is how much wiggle room it allows us. Coming into most situations and confrontations, there's a variety of different ways for us to react (see previous post) and rarely can people agree on one specific reaction that would be "most Islamic."

Though, admittedly, this often drives me insane, as it provides little validation that one's actions are Islamically sound. We can always argue, back and forth, about our own justifications for why we chose to act a certain way, but in the end, we no longer have our Nabi (saw) to straighten us out and tell us what the best course of action is.

It makes me jealous. Dr. J discussed in his ALIM @ ISNA lecture (iA I'll type up what little notes I have. maybe.) how we hear so many hadith telling us "if we guard our tongue, then we will enter Jannah (heaven)," or "if we pray with sincerity, then we'll be admitted into The Garden" -- the Prophet (saw) describing one or two characteristics which would guarantee us an eternity of Paradise. Often times, however, this is the Prophet (saw) giving personalized advice in accordance to the questioner's own vices. The Prophet (saw) could see the defects in someone that stood in that person's path to Jannah and he (saw) could therefore prescribe advice urging the person to address the problem. You really, truly, underestimate how jealous that makes me, and how often I've come upon a problem in which I have no idea how to react as it never seems to fit into my preconceived perceptions of Islam.

I've been raised with the (Islamic?) belief that you must ensure that you fulfil the rights others have over you and try to remain unconcerned with what others may owe you (ie, 'ask not what someone else can do for you, but what you must do for them').

The other end of the spectrum is a dangerous slope, and I've seen it happen and see it happen where you reach the point where you become unconcerned with anyone who does nothing for you. I don't want to become that. I'd much rather spend my life trying to maintain some idealistic, altruistic nature, but the older and older I get, the less plausible this lifestyle seems to become. Rather, I spend my time fulfilling some victim role and becoming terrified that this bitterness will one day control me and turn me into the type of person I absolutely despise.

At some point, you HAVE to demand your rights, even from those who seemingly have so many rights over you. But I honestly don't know what that point is. Obviously, one should do so (request/demand one's rights) with the utmost humility and adab, but even that seems to be something that's so lacking in our culture. There's a thin line that separates the selfish from the altruistic and though many would agree that THAT line is where we need to walk, few (myself included) are able to do so. It just seems that everyone (again, I include myself here first) is obsessed with what they're getting out of an agreement, a situation, or relationship, and the Islamic model of "think of others first" can only work in the most ideal circumstances where everyone else adopts the same attitude.

Or maybe (more likely, in fact) the ability to maintain one's ideals in the face of circumstances that constantly test them is a characteristic for which we should all strive.

Was it Ghandi who said "Become the change you wish to see in others"?

Allahu alim (Allah knows best).